The Comparison Trap

Recovery from an eating disorder is rough, but there's no doubt that it's also a learning experience. As we progress, we learn new things about ourselves that ED covered up and we also discover our strengths and weaknesses. Through my personal journey, I'm realizing that I do have things to offer the world and that I'm not afraid to share my emotions when the time is right. However, I recognize that I still struggle with comparing myself to others, whether it's with food, appearance or just success in life.

Growing up with a younger sister, my life always seemed to be a competition. When I was younger, I had to 'compete' for attention from my parents. I had to learn to be a big sister, and remember that I was not an only child anymore. Later on, when we both started developing interests, we competed against each other to see who could be the 'best'. It didn't help that for awhile we were both involved in a lot of the same things, like dance and acting, so it seemed like one of us would always come out ahead. It was the same with school. I'm four grades ahead of my sister, but I always felt inadequate and stupid when my sister would come home with straight A's and I'd have a mix of A's and B's. Sometimes I still feel competitive but I try to remind myself that we're each great in our own ways and there's no point in trying to be 'better' than the other one.



Me and my sister at a competitive age (I'm on the right)

 With my eating disorder, I still struggle with comparing myself to other people. I'll see a girl at the store about my height and instantly think I'm fatter than her. Even though comparing yourself to others is never a good thing, it's better if you're at least comparing yourself to someone similar. Most of the time I compare myself to these random girls, I'm 99% positive that they're a few years younger than me. ED says "Yeah, they might be younger than you but they're the same height as you and they're skinnier." But really, why am I wasting my time comparing my body to someone's who may not have even gone through puberty yet? I'm an adult woman in college, I don't need to look like a little girl. I'm naturally petite but that doesn't mean I have to look like I'm still in middle school.



I like to take dorky pics of myself and that's okay ;)

 I also compare what I eat to what others eat. Sometimes, I check out healthy living blogs and while a lot of them are very positive and show a healthy mix of eating and exercise (like Carrie's and Megan's), some of them aren't. I see what they eat and think I can do the same. I feel guilty for not eating as 'cleanly' as some of them do. I eat pretty healthily-- mini Clif bars and organic froyo are my 'junk food' (just to clarify, I'm not saying that I think it's bad if people choose to eat more processed foods, it's just my personal preference not to)--but I feel bad when I see some of these people doing sugar free challenges because even though I don't eat white sugar, I still have a big sweet tooth. One thing I have learned: everyone's different, what works for one person won't necessarily work for you. It's okay to get recipe inspiration or whatever, but don't try to copy everything someone else eats. Just do what feels right for you, whether it's veganism, meat-eating, intuitive eating, meal planning or whatever. Stop the comparison game, and you'll feel so much better!



I've found what works for me: seafood/fish every so often, veggies and LOTS of fruit...



...with some yummy gelato once in awhile :)

 Q's: Have you ever compared what you eat to what others eat? What about body comparison?