Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day is for Shopping!

Hi everybody! Have you all been having a fantastic weekend so far? Hope you’re enjoying your day off (if you have one)!
My weekend has been busy, just the way I like it. Sometimes I just like to stay home and chill, but I get bored after about a day of that. I like getting out of the house and doing something, it doesn’t necessarily have to cost money. However, my day yesterday definitely required a little spending, which I didn’t mind at all!
In the two weeks I’ve been home so far, I’ve been doing a lot of chores around the house. I’m not a huge fan of some of these chores (hello, cleaning the bathroom!) but if I can earn some money and make my mom happy, then I’m more than willing to do it. I’ve also been making “wish lists” of clothes I wanted to buy and when I finally made enough money to justify a shopping trip, I went! My mom and sister tagged along (even though my sister had no money) and so began our afternoon of shopping!
I ended up buying 5 things yesterday and (almost) ran out of money. At Hollister, I bought a red floral romper for $20, a pair of coral flip-flops for $10 and a pair of khaki shorts for $18. Oh, and I also had a coupon to take 30% off my entire purchase, so everything ended up costing only $35! What a steal!



Khaki shorts

Next we hit up American Eagle. This weekend only, everything in the store was 30% off! Of course I had to check it out. I left with a lime green striped oversize tee that I got for $18.

Lime green tee and denim shorts

Finally, we went to Abercrombie Kids. I know that it’s technically a kids store, but their sizes go up to a kids size 16, so I can usually find something that fits me for a lower price than a similar style at Abercrombie & Fitch. I scored a pair of cuffed denim shorts for a little over $20!
We also stopped for some gelato on our way home. Gelazzi is the best place for gelato EVER, so if you’re ever in the Denver or Fort Collins area, make sure you check them out. I got half birthday cake, half soy chocolate and was not disappointed!
Back at home, I tried my stuff on. I was slightly anxious when I realized that the shorts and the romper fit a little tighter than I expected them to. Not skintight by any means, but I’m used to my clothes fitting kinda loosely. The tee was of course pretty roomy, but I was expecting the rest of my stuff to fit differently. I have shorts that I bought just a couple of months ago from the same stores, and they’re in the same sizes and fit a little looser. I asked my mom what she thought and she thought they fit me fine. The romper was what I was most anxious about, since I’ve heard rompers are supposed to fit loosely. Mine only has a few inches of space in the body and a little more room in the legs, but I still feel a little self-conscious in it.
Here’s my dilemma: I love to shop, but the way clothes fit me and the size I wear both make me really nervous. If I have to go up a size (just because the cut is different) I will usually end up not buying it. I usually look for clothes that aren’t body skimming, but more flowy and loose. I wish I could feel more confident in clothes that fit my body well, but I feel like they show off my body too much. Right now, I’m really struggling to like what I see in the mirror. Every time I take a picture of myself, I think my thighs and arms look huge and my stomach is so round. I honestly don’t know if that’s what I actually look like or what ED is telling me I look like. I just wish for one day that I could see myself the way I truly am. I’m so sick of this body dysmorphia.
Q’s: Do you like to shop? How do you combat your ‘bad body’ days?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Thank you so so so much for your sweet responses to my last post! I really appreciate them J
I’ve got a LOT of recent eats to share today so be ready for tons of pictures and some unsponsored reviews of products I’ve tried!
First, I’ve had my first ever GREEN MONSTER! In case you’re not sure what that is, it’s a smoothie that has some sort of greens mixed in, like spinach or kale. I’ve had two three so far this week and I’m hooked (that’s where the title of the post comes in btw, it means Oh My Green Monster). Even though I like veggies, I find that sometimes it’s hard to get enough in one day without chomping on salads or carrot sticks all day long. I’m also more of a fan of fresh veggies (I can’t stand most cooked ones, except sweet potatoes of course) so that makes it hard too. Until I discovered that mixing in fresh baby spinach with a fruit smoothie doesn’t make it taste any different but adds in a serving of veggies! My first two weren't green but tonight I hit the jackpot: 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk, 1 chopped up fresh peach and a handful of baby spinach. It was a perfect spring green and delicious!!

Lately, I’ve been noticing millet bread popping up on some food blogs. Some people said it tastes like pound cake so I knew I HAD to try it. I haven’t had pound cake in years (fear food) but I like the taste. I picked up a loaf at Whole Foods last weekend and I was surprised that it was in the freezer section, but I guess it’ll last longer. I had a slice the other day for breakfast topped with crunchy AB and dried raspberries (YUM!) with a spicy veggie sausage patty on the side and a bowl of dark chocolate raspberry overnight oats. I loved the oats, but I wasn’t gaga about the millet bread. The slice was small but dense, but I couldn’t detect any sweetness in the bread, it definitely seemed more savory to me. Not a bad thing, but I was expecting a sweet bread perfect for breakfast. I’ll just have to eat the rest alongside a salad or soup at lunchtime.
I wish it tasted like pound cake...
Call me crazy, but I’d never had a fresh peach or apricot prior to a week ago! My dad picked some up from the store, and I fell in love. Sorry berries, I still love you guys too, but apricots are the bomb dot com!
I made dinner for my family on Monday night. I haven’t done that in a while and I missed doing that. My favorite way to cook during the summer is using the grill, so I picked out a few yummy recipes and I got to grilling. I made grilled mahi mahi (my favorite type of fish) topped with a strawberry pico de gallo with strawberry melon gazpacho on the side (check out my recipe page for the recipes). And I made strawberry lemonade popsicles for dessert. It was my first time making popsicles from scratch and it was super easy and they turned out great. I made sure to get some organic lemonade concentrate from Whole Foods because I don’t do the whole HFCS thing.

Gazpacho before blending

I loved this dinner, so summery!
Other than that, my week has been pretty chill, I’ve just been waiting impatiently patiently for the sun to finally come out and filling out job apps. I hope to be able to spend a lot of time outside this weekend and have a relaxing Memorial Day weekend with my family and a possible shopping trip! Enjoy the rest of your week, everyone!
Sorry about the background!
Q’s: Have you ever made a Green Monster? Best new food you’ve tried recently?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Weekend Update (and Smiling)

Hello blog buddies! Another weekend has come and I think it’s time for…Weekend Update!

No, not this Weekend Update! Though I really love SNL, it's probably my favorite TV show and the Stefan character in this Weekend Update edition is so hilarious!
My weekend has been busy so far, but really amazing. Last night, I went to the U2 concert! OMG, so amazing! I was somewhat of a fan of U2 before last night but the concert just blew me away. It was incredible! The venue where the concert was was huge, it's actually the stadium where the Denver Broncos play. Me and my mom were way up in the nosebleed section, so it was hard to see, but the concert was amazing anyway. I also enjoyed The Fray, who opened for U2. Since it was still light out, I got a few pictures of the giant screen where they showed the bands.

On the screen is Isaac Slade, lead singer of The Fray
The whole stadium was lit up just with cell phones and camera flashes, how cool is that :)
Other parts of the concert experience were...well...exciting, I guess! It was annoying because people kept getting up and leaving their seats to get drinks and food and go to the bathroom so it was really distracting. Also, it was really cold out! The light rail trip back to our car was an adventure, too. It took us forever to make the 10 minute walk back to the light rail station because thousands of people were all trying to leave at once. And then we had to wait for several light rail trains because so many people were trying to get on. Once we actually got on, it was packed to the gills with people! Oh, did I mention I had to stand for about 15 minutes in the light rail after standing up for over 2 hours...and it was 12:30 am?! I was really exhausted so I was really happy when people got off so my mom and I could sit down. And we were going to the last stop, so the ride was at least half an hour and it made a lot of stops! I think the light rail system is so cool, but last night it was ridiculous!
You're welcome for riding RTD ;)
Anyways, I've been awarded with the Smile, You Are Beautiful Award by the lovely Jess and the beautiful Bryana. Ever since I first saw this award, I've wanted to do it, so thanks for tagging me, ladies!
Here are the rules.
1. Smile!
2. Write 3 things you like about your looks.
3. Write 3 things you appreciate about your personality.
4. Write about something you find beautiful in other people (looks, personality – whatever)
5. Award as many  other people as you like and let them know!

Okay, let's do this!

1) Smile :) 
I love this mini backpack I got a few years ago, it makes me smile (and it has smileys on it, too!)
2) 3 Things I Like About My Looks
·         My face. I used to hate it because I have a young-looking face so people would always think I was a lot younger than I really am, but now I think it looks cute (is that too conceited?!)
·         My feet. Yes, this seems weird, but I like that they're small (size 6) and narrow so I can always find shoes in my size. The only problem is when I buy high heels that have an ankle strap, I always have to make extra holes because the straps are too big otherwise and I can't keep the shoes on!
  • My arms. I used to hate them too and think they were "fat" and "huge" but now I know that it's muscle. People don't usually expect me to have biceps so when I show them, they're surprised! And I'm pretty good at arm-wrestling, too ;)

Even if it sounds vain, I like my face :)

3) 3 Things I Like About My Personality
·         I'm responsible. I always get my school work done on time, I try not to miss classes or appointments and I do chores at home without having to be asked a thousand times. I try to be as accountable as possible to people.
·         I'm a nice person. I don't try to get revenge on someone when they do something that upsets me. I'm polite and rarely say anything mean.
·         I'm funny. I like to joke around with people, be sarcastic and just laugh. I'm a little quiet at first but I'm totally comfortable cracking up and making funny comments with people I'm close with.
4) Something I Find Beautiful In Other People
I really hate it when people talk about other people behind their backs and it makes me feel awkward to be put in that position where somebody is saying something mean about somebody else to me, so I like people who are honest but nice and can share their problems openly without being mean.
5) Awarding People!
Since a lot of people have already been tagged, I'll tag just a few who I don't think have been tagged yet but if you have, sorry, and if you haven't, feel free to do this award!
I’ll leave you with one last pic of a yummy overnight oats combo I had yesterday: thick rolled oats mixed with water, organic apricot jelly and topped with a fresh apricot—yum! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, ladies!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

WIAW Numero Uno

So it’s my first official What I Ate Wednesday (WIAW)! I’m so excited to do this, so I’m also gonna share with you what I wore and did yesterday. Basically it’s WIAWADW ;)
Breakfast: organic flax waffle topped with dark chocolate fudgie, Morningstar spicy veggie sausage, banana nut Vitatop, blueberries (and sour Flintstones gummy vitamins, lol)
After breakfast, I did some yoga!
I wish I could be this flexible! (from weheartit)

Please ignore the bathroom stuff, this is the best place to take a picture ;)

Then I got dressed (of course!). White Merona cardigan (Target), blue and coral floral button-down tank (Hollister), blue linen cargo shorts (American Eagle), white pearl and diamond necklace (American Eagle), various bangles and bracelets (American Eagle). My hair was still a little curly from when I curled it on Tuesday, so I pulled it into cute pigtails!

Then it was on to the chore of the day...MOPPING! Oh, so much fun (jk).

(from weheartit)

Lunch: sweet potato topped with crunchy almond butter, cinnamon and a dash of cayenne pepper (I like my taters spicy and sweet!), grapes and Bear Naked Fit vanilla almond granola (water to drink, of course)
I did some more yoga, read through "People StyleWatch" (favorite magazine ever!) until my mom and lil sis came home.
Snack: mini Chocolate Brownie Clif bar, big bowl of blueberries and golden raspberries (I loooooooooove berries!) and a Clif Kids Twisted Fruit rope, more water to drink
My mom was too tired to cook so my dad brought home takeout for dinner from a Mexican place. I don't like that place but I wanted something similar to the rest of my family...
Dinner: Flatout light wrap with jalapeno almond cheese, black beans and lime juice (vegan quesadilla!), baby carrots, fresh pico de gallo salsa, cocoa banana smoothie (unsweetened chocolate soymilk, packet Truvia, 1/2 banana), date stuffed with crunchy almond butter
My dad went to go see “Water for Elephants” so me, my mom and sister just chilled at home. I took a shower, did a little more yoga and also a 6 minute cardio circuit!
Snack: Stonyfield nonfat Gotta Have Java (coffee) froyo, 2 Whole Foods duplex cookies (like Oreos but so much yummier and healthier)
Then I watched Headlines on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and went to bed!

Q’s: What was the best thing you ate on Wednesday (or today)? If you do workouts like cardio or yoga, do you like splitting them up throughout the day (like I do) or getting them all done at once?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Lovely Week (and a Lovely Recipe)

Hi guys, how are you? I hope you’re enjoying some nice weather where you are. It’s finally sunny here again and a little warmer, like in the low 70s! I’m just glad it’s not raining, or even worse, snowing. Yes, we actually got a dusting of snow on Sunday morning and it was not cool :/
Anyways, I recently received the Lovely Blog Award by the very lovely Bryana! Thank you so much, girl, for tagging me!
The Rules:
1.) Post this award with the picture and link back to the person who tagged you.
2.) Share 7 random things about yourself.
3.) Award 15 bloggers and let them know you tagged them.

So since I have done a lot of these random facts posts, I decided to do a little twist on the award and instead tell you 7 exciting or interesting things that have happened to me in the past week. Here goes!
1) I got a volunteer job at the library as a summer reading volunteer. I don't know what I'm actually going to be doing (hopefully reading to the kids or something cool like that) but I'm pretty much committed on Saturdays from noon to 2 from the beginning of June until the end of July. Unfortunately, it's unpaid (and my parents are still making me look for a job :/) but at least it's something that can go on my resume and should be kind of fun.
2) I drove for the first time in months on Saturday! I don't have a car when I'm at college, so I haven't driven since December I think! Sad, because I like driving so it was good to get behind the wheel. I drove to Whole Foods, too, which was a bonus :)
3) I got good grades in all my classes. I was a little freaked out that I'd get a C or 2 but luckily, 4 B's and 2 A's. It was a hard semester, so I should be proud of myself!
4) I have an eyelash problem. No, seriously! Occasionally, I get this weird pain in my eyelid where the eyelashes grow from, and I think it's because they grow in the wrong way or something. Usually, I can find the problem eyelash easily and pluck it so the pain goes away but I haven't been so lucky this time...
5) I've only worn shorts once in the past week! I thought by mid May the weather would be so nice, but most of these past 7 days have been cloudy, cool and sometimes rainy. Today I finally got to wear shorts...but my house feels freezing cold (even though the thermostat says 73 degrees) and I should probably be wearing capris. I never understood how 73 degrees outside feels so much warmer than 73 degrees inside!
6) I have made most of my own meals since I got home and I'm loving it! I love being able to use the grill, the stove and the oven to whip up amazing things. And of course, having tons more ingredients on hand so I can get creative.
Brekkie the other day--a cinnamon raisin Ezekiel English muffin with a dark chocolate orange fudgie spread on, chocolate Oikos, fresh pineapple and a spicy veggie sausage

7) Finally, I came up with my very own veggie burger recipe! I like veggie burgers a lot, but I've never had one that I was wowed by...except my own! And because I'm so generous (haha) I'm gonna share it with you guys!
Southwestern Black Bean Quinoa Burgers
(Makes 3 palm-sized burgers, increase everything to make more/bigger ones)
1/2 cup black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup uncooked quinoa (makes 1/2 cup cooked, make sure to rinse!)
2 tsp chili powder
1 1/2 tsp crunchy almond butter (adds some crunch)
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ginger
Cook quinoa until all water is boiled off and quinoa is fluffy. Mix all ingredients in a food processor or high-powered blender until mixture sticks together. Stick in the fridge for 15-30 minutes to chill. Heat saucepan or skillet on the stove over medium heat and spray pan with nonstick cooking spray. Take veggie burger mixture out of the fridge and form into 3 patties. Place burgers in pan and cook until outside is crunchy and browned, about 5-7 minutes per side.
I served mine on an Ezekiel tortilla with spicy pepper mustard (love!), a mix of grapes and golden raspberries (yes, golden raspberries!), carrots and some Bear Naked Fit granola. Such a yummy lunch!
I loved this lunch!

So that's what I've been up to this week! Oh, and yesterday I braided my hair for the first time in a while and I liked how it turned out!
I love my hair, too :)
Q's: What's one thing interesting that you did this week? Have you ever made your own veggie burgers? 

Friday, May 13, 2011

It's Finally Here!

Well, girls, it’s finally here…summer! I am officially no longer a freshman, though I never consider myself in the next grade until the summer’s over and school starts again. So I’m not quite a sophomore, but I’m definitely not a freshman! Woohoo!
The last two days were kind of crappy, weather-wise. I can’t believe on Tuesday I was wearing a sleeveless dress and studying outside in the sunshine (and I got a little sunburned haha) and on Wednesday it rained pretty much all day. I’ve lived in dry states my entire life, so rain almost all day two days in a row felt so weird and way too wet for me. It probably really only rained an inch or two total over both days, since the rain was light, but to me it seemed like I was in Seattle! Now I know I’ll never move anywhere that it rains regularly!
I am so glad to have all my finals behind me. Yesterday dragged on, because I was so anxious for my mom to come up so we could take my stuff and then get out of there. It felt so surreal to check out and return my keys. It really hasn’t felt like an entire school year has gone by since I started college! Time really does fly fast. In a way, it was sad, but I was mostly just happy to move on with my life. This year was both good and bad, but I’m kinda glad it’s over.
After we loaded up all my stuff (literally, it took up the entire trunk and back row of our mid-size SUV!), my mom and I went to Mad Greens (a salad place I mentioned in this post) as a little celebration dinner. I’ve loved every salad I’ve ever gotten from there, but the one I had last night was really good! It was called the Don Quixote and it was kind of Southwestern inspired, with spinach, grilled corn, fresh avocado, grilled chicken, a spicy yogurt dressing and my favorite—mango! I love fruit so much, so anytime I can get some (especially fresh and cold) I always do! The only thing I would have added was black beans.
Today has been pretty chill. A lot warmer and sunnier than yesterday and Wednesday, but it feels more like March than May. Oh well, I know summer weather is just around the corner. I had so much fun unpacking all my stuff this morning (not!) I’m just happy that my room is clean now because I can’t stand having stuff all over my floor!
I’m gonna leave you with a delicious food pic! Sadly, it’s not of my salad last night (which was huge, btw) but of my lunch today! I’ve recently gotten really into making vegan quesadillas. All you do is take a large tortilla (the Ezekiel sprouted kind is my fave), slice up some chunks of soy or almond cheese (I used some jalapeno-flavored almond cheese in mine) and pop it in the microwave for 45 seconds or until the ‘cheese’ is all melty and the tortilla is a little crispy! So good, and (in my opinion) better than an actual quesadilla.
Lunch today--vegan quesadilla made with a light Flat Out wrap, jalapeno almond cheese, Pink Lady apple (love!), carrots, salsa for dippage and a Kashi cereal bar

Q’s: If your summer has started, how is it so far? If not, what are you looking forward to most this summer?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Almost There

Hi guys! Did you all have a nice Mother’s Day? Well, the real question should be did your mom have a nice Mother’s Day haha!
I’m pretty sure mine did. I realized a few weeks back (yes, I’m a little slow) that Mother’s Day was the weekend before I was coming home for the summer, and I wasn’t planning on going home this past weekend. But then I thought of an amazing idea: my family could all come up to spend the day with me! Well that’s exactly what happened, and I loved it! My parents and sister drove the 2 1/2 hours up to be with me. We had a picnic lunch by the huge (well, huge for CO) lake near my campus, walked around the city park (also huge, with another lake) for a while, grabbed some froyo, sat out on a patio downtown while my parents drank, got dinner at a nice restaurant then headed back to my dorm to load up most of my stuff. That took so many trips, but a lot less than if I had to load everything. I pretty much made my dad carry all the heavy stuff, haha, that’s what he was there for (just kidding). It was a really nice day, I loved being able to spend Mother’s Day with my mom having fun outside. The weather was perfect, too, sunny all day and really really warm! It was at least in the 80s, it probably broke a high temperature record it was so hot for May.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t struggle with restriction. I’ve noticed that I tend to freak out a lot if I have to eat out multiple times in one day. Then I restrict a little, which I never do normally anymore. We got Subway for lunch, and I’m not a huge fan of Subway, but I got a sandwich anyway, the veggie delite. It was the only one I really felt ‘safe’ about eating. I piled it with a bunch of veggies, got it on the wheat bread and only got regular mustard as the sauce. You’d think after choosing something so ‘safe’ (aka low-cal) I would have eaten the whole thing. Well…I didn’t. I would have, except I actually wasn’t really hungry and my sister only ate half of her sandwich (the Italian kind) and I didn’t want to look like a pig. So I only ate half. Then when we got froyo, which I normally really love, I apparently got a small amount because my mom told me that I could get more. If she hadn’t pointed that out, I probably wouldn’t have gotten more. Well, it was still yummy (it was the strawberry lemonade flavor, topped with berries). The place we went to for dinner had their menu online and I had checked it out beforehand to see what I should get. There was no nutritional info, so I just looked to see what sounded good and ‘safe’. At the restaurant, I ended up getting a salad topped with blackened grilled tuna, salsa and mandarin oranges. It has a dressing on the side, but it was creamy so I completely avoided it for that reason. I tried only a tiny bit, and it was really good and spicy, but I was just freaked out. I did eat most of my salad (including most of the tuna), but I knew it probably wasn’t enough. I did have a snack after my parents left, but it didn’t make up for all my restriction.
I hate to always end my posts with how I’m struggling, so I’ll end this one on a happy note: I have finished 2 out of 5 finals and I finally finished my paper for my composition class. I’ve just got to get through three more days, three more finals and then I’m free! Well, except for getting the rest of my stuff out of my room… J
Dinner tonight--sweet tater topped with strawberry Greek yogurt (with more on the side), grapes and unpictured iced coffee with almond milk

Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm So Fly...

Hahaha just kidding, but I’m pretty much writing this on the fly because I’ve been incredibly busy this week. It was my “dead week” this week (or the crazy-busy week before finals, for those of you not in college) and I pretty much had something due every day. On Tuesday, I met up with my ad agency group from my advertising course to go over our presentation that was on Wednesday. It ended up going for 2 full hours, even though we basically did nothing, so I ended up walking back to my room in the dark. But it was all good, it wasn’t too cold and no one attacked me (like I always freak out about at night). Wednesday I had a conference with my composition professor about my big paper due this Thursday and then in the afternoon I had my agency presentation, which went pretty well. I was actually the only freshman in my group, and in the class, too, so I felt like I did just as well as the upperclassmen. Thursday was my first final, and the one I was most freaked out about. It didn’t seem too hard, so I hope I did pretty well on it. Me and my friend in that class always talk about how hard it is, but we both think we did okay on the final. And yesterday was the last day of classes of my freshman year! Gosh, time really does fly!
Today I’m supposed to be studying my butt off, because I have four finals next week! One I’m not at all worried about, because it’s open-note! I just have to take a few notes and I’m good. My other three finals aren’t cumulative, either, so I’m trying not to stress about them too much. I have all of Wednesday to study for the last two, and then after my last final on Thursday, I’m outta here! I’m so ready to be home for three months. I’ve really missed seeing my family for more than just a weekend, having my own bathroom, doing yoga outside and of course, cooking! I hope I can get right back in the kitchen next weekend because microwave cooking is getting really old.
My only stress right now (besides finals, duh!) is packing up all my stuff! Really, I have a lot of stuff in this tiny dorm and it’s all gotta go…home, that is! My family’s coming up tomorrow (yay!) because it’s Mother’s Day and they’re also taking back most of my stuff. So I’ve also got to pack today. I’ve never really minded packing, it’s kind of fun, but I have so much it’s not even funny.
This morning, I went for a nice 20 minute walk around campus. It was so nice…and unusually warm! My weather app on my iPod said it was only 70, but it felt like 80! About halfway through my walk, I started to get lightheaded and my head started to hurt. I really wasn’t sure why, I didn’t feel like 20 minutes was overkill. Now, I’d be lying if I didn’t say my walk was partly ED-fueled, but it was mostly because I wanted to enjoy the sun and warm weather. But when I got back to my dorm, I didn’t feel guilty at all that it was only 20 minutes because of how weird I felt. Don’t worry, I drank a lot of water when I got back and I feel so much better now! Even though I’m still struggling with exercising because ED tells me to, I’m trying to listen to my body, too, and give it what it wants.
A tulip I saw on my walk!
I guess I should probably start studying, so enjoy the rest of your weekend, ladies!
Q’s: What’s the weather like where you are? What are you stressing about now?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

So Ready to be Done

Happy Sunday, girlies! I hope you’ve had an amazing weekend, and if you have final exams coming up that you’re not too stressed. I’m just starting to feel the stress and I know it will get worse by next weekend :/
If you couldn’t already tell by the title of my post, I’m so ready to be done with school! This year has gone by really fast, which is sort of scary but also exciting. I can’t wait to be a sophomore in college and start taking classes beyond the boring basic requirements. I’m also really glad that this year’s gone by fast, because of my roommate situation. I won’t go too much into it, I did talk about it in this post if you want some background, but basically she is inconsiderate and kind of unsocial. Now, I’m not the most outgoing person in the world, but I do sometimes randomly start up a conversation with someone I barely know and I’m not generally anxious in social situations. In my opinion, it shouldn’t be that hard to talk to your roommate, especially after an entire school year, but that’s just me. I’m honestly sick and tired of being the one to always start conversations with her that really end up nowhere anyway. It just feels incredibly awkward to me to live with someone and go for days without saying anything to them. I know that if that happened at home, my parents would ask what’s wrong with me! Seriously, all four of us love to talk so it’s pretty much never quiet, which I love. But anyways, I have my last week of classes this week and then finals next week and I’m done by Thursday evening! I’m so excited for summer but I’m not really excited to move all my stuff out of my dorm! That’s gonna be a huge project haha.
The dress I wore a week ago for Easter...except I had to wear a sweater too because it SNOWED :/

But the title of my post also refers to my ‘relationship’ with ED at the moment. Lately, I’ve been really struggling to see my body in a positive light. I haven’t had a full day where I thought I looked awesome, or even alright, in a looooooong time. Sure there are definitely moments where I look at myself and think, “Yeah, I look good!” but they don’t last and it’s making me mad. Today, it’s a little chillier than it has been so I put on some jeans, and I haven’t worn jeans in a few weeks, and this particular pair in over a month. They’ve always been snug, not slouchy like my boyfriend jeans, but they fit. I’ve usually felt a little uncomfortable in them, because I’m not used to how jeans should fit, but the feeling usually goes away after wearing them for a little bit. Today I feel like they are fitting me tighter than ever (though it’s probably ED talking) and I’ve felt so guilty every time I’ve eaten so far. I really hate how my perception of how clothes fit is so screwed up, and how it really gets to me. In fact, I felt compelled by ED to go for a walk around campus today, even though I usually wouldn’t on the weekend, since barely anyone is out and it feels creepy. In a way, I’m glad I did, because there were some other people out, but not so many that it seemed crowded, and I got some time to think. But most of those thoughts were about how fat I feel. I walked for a little more than half an hour, which is a decent amount, but of course it wasn’t enough for ED. Well, screw him! I just want him out of my life. I want to be able to focus on my finals, and then enjoying my summer, without him getting in the way. I’m so ready to be done with ED!
This picture is to piss ED off, because he said I look too fat in it but I think I look cute :)

Q: What are you most excited about this summer?