Back-to-School Blues & Hunger Cues

So my sophomore year starts tomorrow, and I can't believe where the summer's gone. I'm kind of sad it's almost over, but also excited to start the new school year fresh. I'm really hoping it'll be a lot better than last year. I liked last year, but I wasn't on the best of terms with my freshman year roommate and it kind of soured my experience. This year, I'm still in the dorms, but in a much nicer and newer building (with air conditioning!) and I have a room to myself. I do have to share a bathroom with 2 other girls, so I'm really hoping we hit it off or at least have a better relationship than my ex-roomie and I had. So far, they and a lot of other people (including guys!) on my floor seem really nice so I'm hoping everything goes well.

Move-in weekend was a lot smoother than last year for sure. My dad and I drove up Friday morning, grabbed lunch at Qdoba and then got to unloading the car. We took several trips up and down three flights of stairs and the elevator, but we got all of it in. My mom and sister drove up later and we unloaded the rest of the stuff and then headed over to the hotel we were staying at over the weekend. Then we got some dinner at one of my favorite places, Mad Greens. I've gotta admit, I've been kind of restricting a lot this weekend, not necessarily on purpose but my hunger has been out of whack since Saturday and it's freaking me out. Now I think it's back, but I still feel that pull towards continuing restricting so I'm not sure how that's going to go down this week, especially with all the stressage from new classes. I ended up getting a salad with baby greens, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, cannellini beans and tofu and I really just did not like the taste of it, so I barely ate any of it. But I did steal some bites of pita from my dad's panini so at least I did eat something.



Qdoba Naked Fajita Burrito with lime rice, black beans, pico de gallo and grilled veggies


Saturday we woke up bright and early at a quarter to 9. I had a small breakfast of Bear Naked granola and green grapes, since I still wasn't hungry, but I had a little breakdown when my mom insisted that I eat the Light 'n Fit yogurt she brought up from the breakfast buffet in the lobby. I was mostly upset because it wasn't my usual organic Greek yogurt with tons of protein (this yogurt only had 3 grams!) and natural ingredients. I ate a tiny bit and then threw out the rest when she wasn't looking. I really felt sneaky, like I did back in my ED days when I'd throw my food in the trash and never got caught. But honestly, the yogurt tasted way too sweet and chemical-y for me so I couldn't eat any more of it.

After getting some things at the store (including another mini fridge so I could turn it into a makeshift freezer), we headed back to the hotel for a quick lunch. My hunger was still mostly MIA, so I just ended up having most of a 200-calorie vegan tortilla soup (delish, BTW) and some grapes. The sad thing was, I actually felt guilty for eating that much because my mom only had some crackers and hummus because she wasn't hungry, either.

The parentals left for the rest of the afternoon to go on brewery tours so my sis and I just chilled at the hotel. We went to the pool for a little bit, played around with the radio in the room and people-watched from our third-story window. Some time during the afternoon, I finally felt a little hunger pang so I had some multigrain chips that I brought along. At this point, the hunger wouldn't go away, so I had some more grapes and a little granola. Of course, I felt incredibly guilty for eating this much, even though I was hungry.

We went out to dinner at a new-to-us place called Beach House Grill. At first, I didn't think I was going to like it, but I ended up getting something I really loved. For the first time all weekend, I feel like I actually ate a decent amount, even though it was pretty low-cal: a few small pieces of grilled mahi mahi in lettuce wraps, with fruit salsa and black beans and rice on the side. I also tried some of the green salsa and it was really spicy, so I had to drink a lot of water. I ended up feeling uncomfortably full after dinner (because of all the water), so again I felt guilty. I did end up feeling hungry again later so I had a small snack of Whole Foods sandwich cookies and raisins.



Some gorgeous flowers at the CSU gardens


Today has been rough eating-wise, too. I had an okay breakfast, a salad of just greens and grapes at lunch, some delicious birthday cake and soy chocolate gelato (best thing I've had all weekend!) for a snack and then my floor went to the dining hall for dinner together and I ended up just getting a salad with carrots and a few sunflower seeds with grapes on the side. Definitely not enough fuel, considering I've been running around campus and town most of the day. I tried to make up for it by having some multigrain chips and pineapple earlier, but I know I didn't eat enough.



I think I could just live on gelato...


Right now, I'm just incredibly exhausted from the weekend and stressed out about school. The last thing I need to think about now is food...which is exactly why I'm slipping. And now that I've had this slip-up last all weekend, it's so much easier to keep giving in and eat less and less. I haven't felt the urge to restrict in a long time, but it's back again. And I don't know what to do...


What do you do to get back on track after days of eating less?

Alphabet Soup

Thank you all so so so much for your encouraging words on my last post! I know that I am still struggling with these thoughts, but it’s relieving to know that many others have dealt with the exact same thing and I just need to keep pushing through. You are all amazing inspirations to me! J

Today, I thought I’d do a fun, lighthearted post and I’ve seen this survey around the blog world for a while, so I thought “Why not?” I changed a few of the letters but that’s just how I roll!

A is for apple, what’s your favorite variety? Def would have to be Pink Lady…pretty much the only kind I eat!

B is for breakfast, what do you usually have?

I try to mix up some of it, but I always have a Morningstar hot & spicy veggie sausage (for yummy crunchy protein) along with some sort of carbs, like a waffle or slice of toast topped with almond butter, and then either Greek yogurt, some cereal, overnight oats or a Vitatop muffin.



A typical (?) breakfast: Oikos superfruits Greek yogurt topped with bloobs and strawberry granola clusters, 1/2 homemade berry waffle, veggie sausage link



C is for cereal, what is your favorite kind currently? I love all the kid varieties of Cascadian Farms, but I’m gonna go with Fruitful O’s. Like a yummier, healthier version of Fruit Loops!

D is for donuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you like? Actually, I’ve never ever liked donuts…too much of a sugar rush for me!

E is for eggs, how do you like yours prepared?

Ewww, I completely hate eggs! I have never liked them, unless they’re baked into something and you can’t taste them.

F is for fat free, what is your favorite fat free product?

Definitely Greek yogurt and froyo! And of course most fruits and veggies.

G is for groceries, where do you buy yours?

Either Whole Foods (love that place) or Super Target.

H is for hot beverages, what is your favorite?

I definitely prefer cold drinks to hot but I will drink nonfat lattes from Starbucks hot.

I is for ice cream, pick a flavor and a topping?

Gelato is 1000 times better than ice cream! My favorite flavor is soy chocolate and I love any kind of fruit on top (or just plain).

J is for jams or jellies, do you eat them, and if so, what flavor?

I love the Smucker’s organic line of jams, especially the apricot kind.

K is for Kashi, name your favorite product?

OMG, I love Kashi, so this is a hard one. Either the Kashi TLC crackers, the Cherry Vanilla cereal bar or the Dark Mocha Almond granola bar. I love coffee and chocolate together!



Kashi crackers, apricot, date stuffed with crunchy AB



L is for lunch, what was yours today?

I had a late one today but it was yummy! A green salad topped with leftover grilled chicken, snap peas and edamame guacamole/plain Oikos mix on top, a nectarine and a mini Chocolate Brownie Clif bar.

M is for milk, what kind do you prefer?

I used to only drink skim milk, but when my parents switched over to 1% for a while (can’t stand that stuff) I decided to try soy. Now I like unsweetened chocolate soymilk or unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

N is for nutrient, do you prefer carbs, protein or fat?

I’m def a carb monster—I love fruit and cereal! Next I’d have to go with protein, especially Greek yogurt. I’m still a little scared of fats, but I love almond butter and edamame for that.

O is for onions, do you eat them?

Only uncooked, the cooked kind gives me a horrible aftertaste that lasts for a few days. I mostly like green onions and red onions in pico de gallo.

P is for protein, what’s your favorite source?

Seafood (white fish, shrimp, scallops, crab legs) or Greek yogurt. My fave brand is Oikos and I love pretty much all their flavors.



Grilled mahi mahi topped with strawberry pico and strawberry melon gazpacho on the side



Q is for quiche, what 4 ingredients would you like in yours?

I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a quiche, and since I don’t eat cheese, I wouldn’t try one now.

R is for restaurant, what’s your favorite?

I love OPB&J, an organic peanut butter and jelly place in my city. It has the yummiest PBs, jellies, breads and toppings!



Prickly Pear PB&J



S is for spices, name four that you’ve used recently?

I used cinnamon and ginger on my sweet potato last week, my mom made a pasta dish with a chili lime seasoning a few nights ago and I used black pepper in some edamame guac I made the other day.

T is for trick or treating, what’s in your bag?

I haven’t gone in quite a while, but when I used to love candy my favorites were gummy Lifesavers, Sweet Tarts, crispy M&M’s, sour gummy worms and Hershey’s Dark Chocolate.

U is for universal, what’s your favorite type of cuisine?

For sure Mediterranean/Middle Eastern. I love vegan gyros, pitas and hummus!



Vegan gyro with roasted artichoke, veggies, olives and hummus!



V is for vitamins, do you take them, and if so, what kinds?

I love the sour Flintstones gummy vitamins! They are so yummy and make me feel like a little kid again!

W is for water, where do you get yours from?

Usually from my fridge’s dispenser. I always have to have it with ice, though.

X is for eXtra special, what food holds a special place in your heart?

This one is pretty tricky, but I’m gonna have to go with gelato. I only get it rarely, once a month at the most, but it is so delicious and creamy without being heavy and full of fat.



Soy chocolate and birthday cake gelato...mmmmm!



Y is for yogurt, if you could only buy one cup, which would it be?

Oikos has my heart, and I love all their flavors, but if I had to choose only one, it would be their new superfruits flavor. It has acai, raspberry and blueberry (so it’s like 3 flavors in one…is that cheating?!)

Z is for zero guilt, which food never makes you feel guilty for eating it?

Though someday, I’d like to NEVER feel guilty about eating, I’m not there yet. However, eating fruit never gives me guilt. It’s the perfect treat, it tastes sweet but is super healthy.

Q: Choose one letter and tell me what you would say about it (for example, A= what’s your favorite kind of apple)!


P.S. I changed the design of my blog (again!) Hope you like it :)

OMGM!

Thank you so so so much for your sweet responses to my last post! I really appreciate them J

I’ve got a LOT of recent eats to share today so be ready for tons of pictures and some unsponsored reviews of products I’ve tried!

First, I’ve had my first ever GREEN MONSTER! In case you’re not sure what that is, it’s a smoothie that has some sort of greens mixed in, like spinach or kale. I’ve had two three so far this week and I’m hooked (that’s where the title of the post comes in btw, it means Oh My Green Monster). Even though I like veggies, I find that sometimes it’s hard to get enough in one day without chomping on salads or carrot sticks all day long. I’m also more of a fan of fresh veggies (I can’t stand most cooked ones, except sweet potatoes of course) so that makes it hard too. Until I discovered that mixing in fresh baby spinach with a fruit smoothie doesn’t make it taste any different but adds in a serving of veggies! My first two weren't green but tonight I hit the jackpot: 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk, 1 chopped up fresh peach and a handful of baby spinach. It was a perfect spring green and delicious!

Mmmmm...green!

Lately, I’ve been noticing millet bread popping up on some food blogs. Some people said it tastes like pound cake so I knew I HAD to try it. I haven’t had pound cake in years (fear food) but I like the taste. I picked up a loaf at Whole Foods last weekend and I was surprised that it was in the freezer section, but I guess it’ll last longer. I had a slice the other day for breakfast topped with crunchy AB and dried raspberries (YUM!) with a spicy veggie sausage patty on the side and a bowl of dark chocolate raspberry overnight oats. I loved the oats, but I wasn’t gaga about the millet bread. The slice was small but dense, but I couldn’t detect any sweetness in the bread, it definitely seemed more savory to me. Not a bad thing, but I was expecting a sweet bread perfect for breakfast. I’ll just have to eat the rest alongside a salad or soup at lunchtime.

I wish it tasted like pound cake...

Call me crazy, but I’d never had a fresh peach or apricot prior to a week ago! My dad picked some up from the store, and I fell in love. Sorry berries, I still love you guys too, but apricots are the bomb dot com!

I made dinner for my family on Monday night. I haven’t done that in a while and I missed doing that. My favorite way to cook during the summer is using the grill, so I picked out a few yummy recipes and I got to grilling. I made grilled mahi mahi (my favorite type of fish) topped with a strawberry pico de gallo with strawberry melon gazpacho on the side (check out my recipe page for the recipes). And I made strawberry lemonade popsicles for dessert. It was my first time making popsicles from scratch and it was super easy and they turned out great. I made sure to get some organic lemonade concentrate from Whole Foods because I don’t do the whole HFCS thing.


Gazpacho before blending



I loved this dinner, so summery!

Other than that, my week has been pretty chill, I’ve just been waiting impatiently patiently for the sun to finally come out and filling out job apps. I hope to be able to spend a lot of time outside this weekend and have a relaxing Memorial Day weekend with my family and a possible shopping trip! Enjoy the rest of your week, everyone!

Sorry about the background!

Q’s: Have you ever made a Green Monster? Best new food you’ve tried recently?

Not Quite the Clean Plate Club

I’m glad you guys all liked my vlog! It was so much fun to do, so if you have the technology to do it, I definitely recommend it!

Hopefully the title of my post isn’t too confusing—I’ll explain it in a bit. First, a quick highlight of my weekend. I was lucky enough to get to go home for the weekend, since my sister was in a musical at her high school and it was my daddy’s birthday yesterday. I always enjoy the weekends I spend at home, since I always have so much to do, but then they fly by and then I’m back at school. Anyways, Saturday morning was pretty typical, I woke up and had breakfast and then got ready for the day. It was really really nice, sunny and 80 degrees, so I got to have lunch and do yoga with my sis out on the deck. I love being outside, so it was great. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with my sister, though, since she had to be at school by 3:15. So me and my dad dropped her off, and then he drove me to Keva Juice to drop off my job application and we headed to this new froyo place that’s way far away from our house, but since we both love froyo, it was so worth it. This place was AMAZING! It had so many more flavors and mix-ins than any place I’ve been to. I got a swirl mix called Oreo Joe; it was basically cookies ‘n cream and coffee froyos and it was so delish! I only ever top mine with fruit, so I got some berries and mango. Yum!



Since I forgot, I only have pics of Monday's food.
These are PB Pows, aka one of my fave cereals, plus bloobs

After that, we went to Noodles & Co. to get takeout, since we had nothing for dinner at home and didn’t have time to make anything, because of my sister’s musical. I got my usual, the small Pad Thai with shrimp, and my dad also ordered a ciabatta roll and a cucumber salad. It kind of made me nervous, because even though we were going to share them, I was scared of the extra calories. Well, the roll was really tiny, and the cucumber salad was good but probably low-cal. And I could only eat half of my noodles after that froyo, so I didn’t really eat that much. I was also nervous because I wouldn’t be able to have my evening snack at the usual time, so I packed a mini Clif bar and went to go see my sister’s musical. She was in Thoroughly Modern Millie and part of the chorus, but she and the entire cast were amazing. Definitely an enjoyable, though long night. Back at home, my mom and I watched the new SNL and then I hit the sack around 1. 

1/2 Starbucks Instant Via vanilla with Truvia and splash of skim



I tried to get all creative with the newspaper underneath haha.
Just a flax waffle with bloobs, some plain Oikos Greek yogurt
and a Morningstar spicy meatless sausage

Sunday was my daddy’s birthday, so we went out to lunch at this Mongolian grill place. I was also anxious to eat out there, so I ended up not getting very much food. I got a small plate of rice noodles with only a few spoonfuls of spicy sauce, fake crab meat and veggies. But I honestly wasn’t that hungry, so I didn’t even finish it. However, as my mom was driving me back to school yesterday afternoon, I was suddenly starving! Luckily, I had brought along some Annie’s Bunny Grahams (love those things). Well, we ended up driving right into this freak snowstorm, and the conditions were almost white-out, so my mom decided to turn around and take me back to school today instead! I was really excited, since that meant even more time at home. So we drove home, but stopped at the store to get my dad a pie for his birthday.



A really interesting sauce I made, with
unsweetened applesauce, nonfat Greek
yogurt, cinnamon and chili powder



Lunch, part 1: quinoa mixed with that sauce,
baby carrots, more bloobs and watermelon

Part 2 of lunch: Gardein meatless chik'n
tenders and a Blue Bran Vitatop

Back at home, I was still starving even after my snack, so I ate a bowl of cereal. Luckily, that was enough (just barely) to tide me over to dinner. I finished my Pad Thai and had a yummy banana caramel coffee protein drink on the side. But apparently that wasn’t enough, because by the time we sang happy birthday to my dad, I was feeling hunger pains again. I did not have the pie and ice cream, though (big fear foods)—I instead had an apple crisp Vitatop with some mango sorbet. It was still yummy but…an hour later, I was really really hungry again! By this point, I was having a mental battle with ED. He was telling me that I’d already eaten enough, but I knew that if my body was hungry, that meant I hadn’t eaten enough. Plus, I really hadn’t eaten much at all at lunch. So I grabbed a mini Clif bar and a handful of cereal. Finally, I wasn’t hungry after that. Yes, it was scary to eat 4 snacks and 3 meals in one day, but it was worth it! I felt so proud of myself, despite the fact that most of the weekend, I wasn’t able to finish my food. So I’m not a member of the Clean Plate Club, but I ate when my body wanted me to, and I didn’t get FAT! Take that, ED!

Q’s: Is it hard for you to listen to your body? How was your weekend?