Loving Your WHOLE Self

Hey everyone! I hope you’ve had a great weekend J Mine was pretty good, surprisingly busy, but I got to catch up with a friend of mine I hadn’t seen since before winter break, so that was really nice.

I have to admit that I’ve been hearing the ED voice a lot recently. I think it’s because I’m under a lot of stress with new classes starting and getting used to being back on campus. But…it SUCKS! I hate being stressed out and having to deal with my anorexia crap. So I wanted to offer a little hope to all of you, and to myself.

It’s hard for anyone to really love themselves all the time. Sure, many people are self-centered, but they do have their bad days when they beat themselves up over a mistake. I feel like having an eating disorder of any kind can intensify this self-hatred to the extreme. There are so many days I wake up and just point out all my “flaws”—then I look back on it and it makes me really sad to think that I would say all that to myself, but I keep on doing it. I think ED enjoys abusing us L

But I’m trying (really trying) to see myself for who I really am—human, which means I have issues just like everyone else, but I don’t have to let my mistakes and quirks get me down. I can embrace them and let them make me a better person.

I’ve always been on the small side for my age. So I’m no stranger to the “short” jokes—the 50^th one hurts no less than the first one, unfortunately. Luckily, it goes away for the most part in college, since most people have better stuff to talk about. I still find myself wishing I could be at least a few inches taller, but I’m trying to accept my 5’1 frame for what it is. That’s what heels are for, right? I like being petite and it makes me who I am.

I also have a young-looking face. Adults always tell me that I’ll love it when I’m older. Right now, it kinda sucks. I feel like no one takes me seriously because I look like I could still be a freshman in high school…or even a middle-schooler! But it gives me the opportunity to show off my mental and emotional maturity, and that’s what really counts.

I am a shy person by nature…well at least some people would tell you that. Anyone I’ve known for a while knows that I like to talk. I am so comfortable around my family. I can talk for hours with good friends. But put me in a room with people I barely know and I probably won’t say much. I’ll respond politely to any questions you ask, but I might not ask you many back. It’s not that I’m snotty or stand-offish; it’s just that I have a hard time thinking of conversation starters with people I don’t know.

I am also extremely emotional. I do wish I were a little stronger when it comes to criticism, but I’m not. I cry when I get into little fights with my sister. I take things too seriously and personally. However, I feel like this quality makes me a little more empathetic to others’ problems and situations.

There are too many days that I beat myself up for saying something stupid, tripping in public (I’m kind of a klutz) or just hate my body. I want there to be more days when I like what I see in the mirror and I can take all my issues and “flaws” in stride and help them make me who I really am. I hope you can take some time today to compliment yourself for something you do really well, or appreciate your quirks. You’ll feel so much better when you do.