Hope you’re all enjoying your weekend so far! I think mine’s gonna be mostly booked with homework, laundry and Say Yes to the Dress.
I’ve never been a hardcore exerciser, but I’ve always admired people who are devoted to their workouts, either for sports like track, or just hitting the gym regularly. Throughout the worst parts of my ED, the only exercise I got was about half an hour every day in a women’s fitness PE class at school and my ‘secret’ crunches. I was restricting my calories so much that I could barely work out because I didn’t have the energy.
Exercise has never been really “off-limits” for me during my recovery. No one ever told me not to do it, probably because they assumed I wasn’t doing it and exercise wasn’t part of my ED. Throughout my early recovery, I still just did the crunches, probably more than before because of all the calories I had to eat, but that was about it. During that first summer, I went on the trampoline occasionally or went on hikes with my family on vacation, but that was about it.
Last summer, my second summer during recovery, I think I became more interested in working out. I scheduled in about 15-30 minutes of exercise a day, either walking down my street (which is about a mile), biking, jumping on the trampoline or basic cardio moves in my room. Still, nothing extreme or anything, and I didn’t feel too bad if I missed a day.
First semester of freshman year, I was just trying to keep up with school. I didn’t really have much desire to work out. I was walking probably half an hour a day between classes and my dorm, so I thought that was pretty good. My parents even told me to try to eat more, since I was exercising more than normal for me. And I was still doing crunches after every meal. It’s just something that’s stuck with me.
Then this semester, it’s like a switch flipped on and I feel compelled to exercise. I’m still walking the same amount, but now it’s not enough for me. I started doing yoga two weeks ago. I started out with ten minutes a day, but that quickly progressed to half an hour a day. Then yesterday, I did an hour of yoga. Today, I’ve done 45 minutes. I’ve also been doing some jogging. I did ten minutes today, in addition to the yoga and my normal walking. So I’ve already done an hour and 25 minutes of exercise today. I know, that probably sounds like such a small amount. But for me, it’s big. The only times I’ve ever done that much was hiking or riding my bike over the summer with my dad.
The scary thing is, I feel like it isn’t me who wants to work out, but my ED. I’m starting to feel a high from exercising, and I like the pain it’s bringing to my muscles. But I’m wondering if I’m starting to become addicted to exercise.
Exercise is a great thing, don’t get me wrong. It’s made me more calm and helps me sleep better and just feel better in general, but I’m confused as to how much is too much?
|Haha, had to add in something a little silly :)|
Q’s: Was or is exercise part of your ED? What do you do when you feel like you’ve done too much?